Hoarder

i've got copies of everything
every pressing every color
even the penis-shaped picture disc
so i'm not the only dick
put that down!
don't get fingerprints on the cover
every record is my lover
every rarity i've pursued
is fondled nightly when i'm nude
i'm a whore for vinyl
need more
still need the limited metal box
and the LP hole is small enough for my cock
my possessions, owning these goods
makes up for my lack of manhood

Festival of Lights

This past weekend was the Festival of light here in Downtown Riverside, and boy was it a sight to see. Friday was opening night and I was eager to see how the lights would turn out this year. So eager I left my camera at home. FAIL!!!! Friday was the busiest of the weekend, they shut down a lot of the major streets through out down town and let the people roam the streets. Super fun to experience, would have been more fun to have captured it. Saturday Danielle and I went to go ice skating and see the lights. I was still in awe at the sight of everything, plus I'd never been ice skating before. Fun was had all around and I snapped a few photos that night, couldn't really man a camera on ice. I tried, but was told I couldn't have it in the ice. Sunday was a day of swap meets, thrift stores, food and another trip to the lights. This time Danielle and I were accompanied by some friends, Julio and Fidel. The four of us spent pretty much all day together. I couldn't ask for a better way to spend a day.

I must say I am thrilled on how these photos of myself have turned out. A friend (Jared) of mine asked to use me as a test subject for his film and photography class a few weeks ago. He snapped a roll of film at my apartment and after seeing a few of the photos he took, I've become very interested in the same class he took. I just wish I could afford the time and money to go to school and work at the same time. I wish I would have taken an interest in photography when I was piercing part time, now that I'm always at work I have really no time for anything. Maybe I could work my two days off a week around a class or two. Thanks again for the photos Jared. Being as it's been a while since I've updated my blog nothing really has happened that I felt was blog worthy. I meant to sit down a write a blog about my recent trip to Texas for Fun Fun Fun Fest, but really didn't have the motivation to, also my Internet has been acting up on me. Even if I tried to updated about it, I'm sure it wouldn't post or FireFox would lose the server or something. Work has been slow for the month of November with the exception of this past weekend. I was getting a bit scared I wouldn't have my money for bills. I constantly keep my mind occupied, so I can try and drown out my urge to move. It's really all I've been thinking about. I can't get New York out of my head. Also Seattle, but I know now just isn't the time to move. It'd be super hard to find a job, or a place. I know I just need to hold off till things get better.

Hate to say I told you so

But, I guess I could have seen that coming. I'm sure things wouldn't have worked out. Halloween was fun for me this year. San Pedro, Nofx, Pennywise, Misfits and black flag cover sets. Good friends, rowdy pit and tons of spilled beer.

I Am Alive

And That's Pretty Awesome. Been having a bad week. Well not that bad, but still kind of sucky. I'm kind of sick, my sinuses are fucked to shit! I've been spitting up blood filled loogies and my nose has been running like a water fall. I dont mean a little bit of red in my spit, I mean blood filled more red than green or brown. Been working 7 days a week and still seem to lose money at the shop. I need a break, Texas next month is just what I need. I like a girl, who I'm sure likes me, but I'm sure she'll lose interest in a few weeks. Months if I'm lucky, it happens all the time. I've kind of learned to deal with it. I don't want to get to excited over her, but I can't help it. I want/need to suspend soon, I also NEED to make a trip out to long beach. I miss my friends out there so damn much. I want to start building a bike, and need to take mine into the shop and have it serviced, kind of wish I built one sooner. I will be out a bike for a week or so, bumming. I like making blogs here because I know no one reads them. It's a great way for me to let out what I'm really feling without the fear of someone using it against me or calling me out on it.

Battling Myself

I fell as if I have an ongoing battle in my mind. A battle between good and evil, right and wrong. What I feel is right and what I want right now, I strive for something I know I'll never have. I'm scared. I want to sell all my shit, moved out of my apartment and hit the road with nothing but my camera, bike, and my bag. This is the only thing I feel will make me happen. Just ride off and see what's out there. I've become to accustomed to the luxuries and possessions in my life. I'm to attached to my records, vintage shirts, odds and ends and pretty much anything I've spent time and money on. These things keep me grounded, and I know I didn't have them I wouldn't be sitting in my apartment. No longer hiding behind my things, my computer screen, glued to my couch. I feel as if I'm not meant to be stuck in one place for to long, I need to be in different places, I need change or travel. I want to ride of into a new land, sun at my back, sweat on my brow, a fresh breeze running it's fingers through my hair. Soon, soon I will know what I will do, soon I'll grow up, lose my fear and break away. I feel as if a little more growing is needed here, then I can leave.

Silly Girl I'm Beggin' You...

I find that no other band has made such an impact on my life like the descendents have. No matter how I'm feeling it seems I can listen to the descendents and an album can supplement my mood and feeling. I find great satisfaction and joy listening to this band. This band helps me through alot of tough times, makes sense of my feeling and put's me back into my right state of mind. I find this to be one of the greatest bands of all time, cool to be you to be one of my top 5 favorite albums, and Milo to be a lyrical genius. I have a few band tattoos, but my descendents one is by far my favorite. I love this band so much I had Milo tattooed on my hand. Most of my other band tattoos are in areas easily hidden (shin, ribs, nape of neck) but not my descendents one. I hope to one day be fortunate enough to see them play. Even if it's not an original line up, I could still find peace seeing them. This one's for Frank! Sad to have you pass.

I am weighing me down

I've found myself neglecting my blog as of late. Wrote it off as being busy and what not. I was in Long Beach Monday night through Friday morning, working Friday through Tuesday. Packed week for me, but really I've been neglecting this because I force myself to write down how I'm really feeling, what really has me down, what is really going on in the mess I call my mind. I have an unhealthy habit of running myself ragged when I'm down, or have a lot on my mind. I let things weigh heavily down on me, it's hard to escape it sometimes. So I make myself stay busy to forget it, even if it's for a few seconds. It's unhealthy but better than running to a substance. I'm not saying I have the hardest life, but half the things I go through any other kid my age would spark a joint and hit the bottle then cope with it or try and fight the emotion. I've been feeling a little bit better today. Which is good. I'm covering a friends shift at the shop later today. His birthday was yesterday and asked if I could cover Tuesday(today) for him. I need rest, I was doing well with my sleeping pattern until earlier this week. It's only a matter of time before I'm back to how it was. I've been pushing myself harder and harder on my bike. I figure it will help with the depression, and angst. And it has, today was my mellowest ride this week and it was due to me not being as bummed.

Daze Like Today Can Really Open Your Eyes.

I woke up in a good mood, not tired and got ready for work in a timely manner. Enjoyed some new records with a bowl of cereal then hit the road to the shop. A bit of a windy ride, but made it early and not to sweaty. Did pretty well at the shop. I believe I did 8 piercings. Two of them were sets of ear lobes. Made up for not doing a thing yesterday. Went to Pizza Kiln. Vegan pizza with friends is always a must. Came back to my apartment, some of my friends hadn't seen it yet. Just sat around, shot the shit and listened to some records.They were all pretty stoked on my place. As lame as it may sound that made me feel real good about myself. I often find myself sitting alone, thinking about my situation. And I wonder where it all came from. It's very humbling. I'm 20 and have an awesome apartment, a great career, awesome friends, I'm in the best shape of my life, and am totally on track with my life. Things like this hit you like a ton of bricks and puts things into perspective. I remember talking about living in Downtown for the longest time. I remembering saying I'd move out of my friends parents house, and be piercing full time. I know I won't always have days like this, but I do know I can't let the bad ones get to me. I've been doing that a lot. Letting things get me down. But not today. Today has totally lifted my spirits.

Keep working, Stay busy, Dont think about her

Got a new start on a deadend road

There has been an absence in my updates. About three of four daze. I spent the weekend in Oxnard for this years sound and fury festival. I might have mentioned this in an earlier post. This was my first year attending and I wasn't sure if I was even going to go. I planned on going about three daze prior to the show. Had little to no money due to rent and my cell phone being due, No place to stay, and not a clue on what I was going to do. The weekend turned out to be a lot of fun. We showed up and met with some friends. Ended up staying with them. Which was cool, Always fun times to be had when friends are near. Enjoyed myself, This was a mini vacation. I've been working a lot as of late. It's not like Body Piercings is a very demanding job, as of late it's been slower than usual. But it does take a toll on me. People just think I pot a hole, cram some jewelry and send a client off. It's a lot more than that. believe you me. So I took full advantage of my weekend get away with friends, great bands, circle pits, and lots and lots of stage dives. Sound and fury kicked my ass. Three daze of little sleep, horrible fast food, screaming my lungs stupid, and losing my voice was way worth the swollen right hand, bruises, cuts, scraps, sore back and legs. I'm sure some awesome pictures will surface soon enough. I dove a few time off the giant monitors, one time during Sabertooth Zombie's set with a Sponge Bob Boogie Board. That was fun times. Met a few nice people, Caught up with distant friends, spent my food money on records, and experienced a lifetime's worth of fun in one weekend. Now that I'm back into reality it feels good to reflect back. I got home late Sunday night, slept, work up and went back to sleep, woke up again and realized I was going to be late for work, showered and rode my soar legs and ass off to make it to the shop on time. Had a pretty busy past two daze. I hope this busy streak doesn't fade too soon. I have the next two daze off. I plan on doing some laundry tomorrow morning, a bit of grocery shopping, skating, then it's off the see Iron Age, Creatures, Downpresser, Mammoth Grinder, and Power Trip at Chain. I just saw most of these bands at sound and fury, but their too good to pass up. Sabertooth Zombie is making their way back down from the bay at the end of the month. Should be a great show as always.

Broken Glass Inside My Head

So I guess I'm having a slew of bad Luck. Yesterday I was almost hit by two cars and a bus whilst riding my bike to and from work. And not to long ago I was almost robbed. This is the first time this has happened to me. Pretty scary might I add. I was skating home from the local coffee shop, Back to The Grind. I see two dudes ahead on the sidewalk. I make my way off and into the street so they would have to step into the sprinklers. As I'm skating by the older of the two makes a comment, that I cant hear because I'm skating on rough asphalt. I dismiss it and advert my attention to the younger of the two and see him lunging out tword me with his right arm. I was lucky enough to be a tad out of his arms length, and was able to slap his arm away from me. I skate off in total amazement on the events, and how I was able to dodge his massive arm. Work was slow today, Better than yesterday but still slow. I removed and pregnant ladies genital jewelry, Did a set of side navel piercings, and a pair of tragus piercings. After work I headed home and met up with friends. Went skating, felt good to be on my board. I had an off day, I knew it was because my lack of skating. I just don't really have time, or make time to skate. Still had fun. This also helped pick me up. I'm super stoked for this movie. I know this isn't any actual footage from the movie, but it's still dam good test footage.

Heavy Eyes

I sit, I sit and sit and sit. And I wait. Wait patiently. She told me she'd text me when she awoke from a nap. That was at 7:46. I try not to think negatively. I'm sure she just slept in longer than I expected. She has been really tired as of late. Seems like everyone has. She has a long weekend and that's what's contributing to the lack of us talking. It's not that she's over me.... Already? I used to not bee like this, Used to not care. But after being fucked over twice, it's sort of taken a toll on me. No biggie, I have nothing to worry about. I know it's all in my head. Things will go back to the way they were soon. It's been super dead at the shop. I hope it picks up. I made enough money to cover rent, and my cell phone. I just want some money for sound and fury. I don't plan on buying a lot of merch, just a few records and tapes. I'm having to pack light, can't bring a lot along due to not have a place to stay while in Oxnard. just going to play it by ear. Find some nice people to let me sleep on their floor in their hotels, or in the tub, or where ever. If not, it won't be the first time I've slept in parks or in the car for a show. December of last year some friends and I drove up to Sacramento for a Sabertooth Zombie show and slept in a park. Drove out to San Fransisco a few month after that for another sabertooth show and slept next to a park. So tomorrow I need to get a change of address, mail out two shirts and some shoes, pay rent, head to work, make money, find a sleeping bag, and wait till Friday.

This Beats The Video Posted Earlier.

This really took my breath away.

I Just Love Seeing Things Like This

So...so so so. Today, not unlike any other day was meh. I got up and just layed in bed. Awake, but not yet ready to start the day. I had to mail of some shirts I sold on eBay. Making a little extra cash for Sound and Fury and rent. I believe 7 packages in total. I have a pair of shoes to mail out tomorrow, and three more shirts when I get payment. Headed to work right after I was done with the post office. It was a nice day out today. Not to hot, a little breeze going. Made my ride bearable. It was dead today. I did two piercings. A tragus piercing, and a septum piercing. I got some stuff done today though. I received a package of equipment and needles. I had plenty of time today to bag up my needles, new anchor hemostats, clean and bag my tools and toss it all into the auto clave. Rent and cell phone are due soon. I plan on paying my cell tomorrow after work and rent the next day. This is going to be my second month at my apartment. I've gotten used to living alone. The first few weeks were kind of hard. I got lonely, alot. But, now I'm pretty much used to it and thoroughly enjoying it. I spend alot of time on the interwebz, which is why I find things like this video. there is a laundry list of things wrong with this procedure. I feel real bad for the clients in videos like this one. But I know there is a million worse videos out there.

A Perfect Picture Of Bad Health

A brisk late night ride home to cap a day like many others. I enjoyed the empty streets while riding home. I got up this morning, tired and in a rush. Trying to cram cereal, some strawberries and a banana while getting ready for work. I forgot this morning was Sunday. The shop opens at 12 not 1 on Sundays. Finished my food, threw the first shirt I picked up off the floor and hit the door pedaling. Work was decent today. I believe I did 5 piercings today. Not bad for a Sunday. I also enjoyed some fine Vegan pizza from a place in Moreno Valley, called Pizza Kiln. I really really enjoy this place. Made my day. Headed to a friends house, the house I used to live in before I got my apartment. He invited me to a show in Anaheim. His friends band was playing some metal show at the House Of Blues. I was given a free ticket and got a chance to hang out with some friends I haven't seen in a while. I tried having fun, but it didn't work. This show was a total suck fest. Endured some shitty bands for a few hours then it was time to head back to my friends. The car ride back to Riverside was by far the highlight of the night. Had a blast singing along to songs, and carrying on about random things. Watched a few episodes of Freaks and Geeks. This so happens to be one of my favorite shows of all time. It got to be pretty late when I decided to head home. I think I left around 1:45. Didn't take me to long to ride home. I've been real tired lately, and my legs have been sore alot more. I really need some rest. I constantly tell myself that, but never listen. it's always in one ear out the other. I guess I can rest when I'm dead.

When I Fall I Fall Down Hard.

I've been looking into making this blog for some time now. I started it and just stopped. Finally got around to making it. I figure I could use this as another outlet/rant for things I like or hate. When I'm happy and when I'm sad. Or just when I want to blog about random stuff. So I figure I'd give this a shot and see if it helps.