I Am Alive

And That's Pretty Awesome. Been having a bad week. Well not that bad, but still kind of sucky. I'm kind of sick, my sinuses are fucked to shit! I've been spitting up blood filled loogies and my nose has been running like a water fall. I dont mean a little bit of red in my spit, I mean blood filled more red than green or brown. Been working 7 days a week and still seem to lose money at the shop. I need a break, Texas next month is just what I need. I like a girl, who I'm sure likes me, but I'm sure she'll lose interest in a few weeks. Months if I'm lucky, it happens all the time. I've kind of learned to deal with it. I don't want to get to excited over her, but I can't help it. I want/need to suspend soon, I also NEED to make a trip out to long beach. I miss my friends out there so damn much. I want to start building a bike, and need to take mine into the shop and have it serviced, kind of wish I built one sooner. I will be out a bike for a week or so, bumming. I like making blogs here because I know no one reads them. It's a great way for me to let out what I'm really feling without the fear of someone using it against me or calling me out on it.

Battling Myself

I fell as if I have an ongoing battle in my mind. A battle between good and evil, right and wrong. What I feel is right and what I want right now, I strive for something I know I'll never have. I'm scared. I want to sell all my shit, moved out of my apartment and hit the road with nothing but my camera, bike, and my bag. This is the only thing I feel will make me happen. Just ride off and see what's out there. I've become to accustomed to the luxuries and possessions in my life. I'm to attached to my records, vintage shirts, odds and ends and pretty much anything I've spent time and money on. These things keep me grounded, and I know I didn't have them I wouldn't be sitting in my apartment. No longer hiding behind my things, my computer screen, glued to my couch. I feel as if I'm not meant to be stuck in one place for to long, I need to be in different places, I need change or travel. I want to ride of into a new land, sun at my back, sweat on my brow, a fresh breeze running it's fingers through my hair. Soon, soon I will know what I will do, soon I'll grow up, lose my fear and break away. I feel as if a little more growing is needed here, then I can leave.